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Anxiety sucks

 This blog is all about anxiety. I struggle and struggle and think I am getting better but then have a wave of crazy that I can’t control. Today I am a terrible mom who wants to encourage her daughter to watch a movie in sciences that gives her anxiety because I know she can do it. Dad thinks we shouldn’t make her. Yesterday my son had an anxiety attack about a baseball game and I couldn’t help him and we ended up missing it and dad thought he should just back up and go and deal with it. Somehow my husband and I are off. We don’t agree much anymore on a lot and I feel like we argue all the time. I love him with my life. He makes me whole so what is wrong? I finally have an appointment with a counselor, but I already don’t want to do that because it causes anxiety. I am lost and sad. 
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Friends...Middles school sucks

 How do you help your child who doesn't have any friends. They cry about wanting to fit in, but you have no answer for them. Of course they are wonderful and special and amazing, but it is hard for others to see that. She has autism and add and no one can see past it. Parenting is hard, middle school sucks, people are mean and my daughter just wants someone to be her fired who doesn't treat her like an outcast. What am I supposed to do? How do I help her? I can't force people to see her for her amazing self. It is so heart breaking. I sit here typing all this out as my tears flow, trying to understand the world. I want to fix everything for her, but I know she has to do this on her own. Of course the few school friends she does have are not my favorite and at church she has never felt like she has a friend. Sometimes I just want to relocate the family, but how is that going to help anything. Grass is not always greener on the other side. We are trying to build a life here, ...
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The First

 The first blog post. Here it goes. I sit here while my kids play in their rooms. It is 18 minutes until bedtime. Lights out bedtime and we haven’t even started bedtime routine. No doubt in my mind that in approximately 2 minutes the kids will either fight with each other or fight with their Dad and I about the fact that it is bedtime yet again in their life. How many times does it have to be bedtime. Dad and I don’t like bedtime but we do love after bedtime. We are off duty once those kids get their goodnight squooshes. ( okay we like to pretend we are off duty, but parents are never off duty.) In those too few minutes between the kids bedtime and the parents bedtime we finally get to try and relax. Hahahaha! Like that ever happens but we do try. The dishes are never done, there are toys out, laundry to be done and so on. Life is joyous, crazy, sad, scary and every emotion in between.  See, I live with anxiety. Most days it is manageable, some days non existent , but days lik...
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